10 Things You Won’t Hear An Estate Agent Say

Mar 9, 2014

An Estate Agent

Poor estate agents. Everyone’s been having a pop at them this week.

The Homeowners’ Alliance has exposed how 98% don’t disclose their terms and conditions or fees unless you force them to. (Emoov.co.uk are one of the 2% incidentally).

And Walthamstow MP Stella Creasy has been attacking the industry for charging the seller AND the buyer a fee in some instances.

Coupled with the FT Adviser’s latest assault on the almost total lack of estate agency regulation (with which we agree wholeheartedly), it’s not been a great time for them. Except for the commissions that is. Which are back at their highest levels since 2007, given the nitrous oxide fuelled property market as it is again currently.

We also laid into our peers with research that shows estate agents charge an equivalent hourly rate that, at a typical £774.00, is TWICE  the cost of a lawyer and many times that of a top private doctor. Boy, did we get some stick from the high street guys over that!

So, in the true spirit of carrying on the downer on estate agents, at least those that peddle old school percentage based commissions that should come accompanied by a flintlock and a mask, here’s a bit of fun at their expense:

Ten things that you won’t hear an estate agent say….

1. The bill? Don’t worry, it’s on us.

2. Who did your decor, a short-sighted muck spreader?

3. Honestly, I wouldn’t buy it if I were you.

4. Will you get a cheaper mortgage through our in-house broker? No, probably not.

5. Sorry I’m a bit early.

6. I lied to you earlier. 

7. You want how much for it? Not a chance.

8. You’ll hate this next house. It really isn’t for you.

9. I’m afraid it’s unlikely to go up in value much.

10. I used to be a priest.


All said and done. It’s a profession (ish) that is not known for its integrity. Why? Because there is just too much at stake.

Selling only around 25% of the homes that they list and with a disproportionate commission reward for the ones that they do sell, no wonder.

A low cost fixed fee approach is simply more honest. Paying your way and regardless of the value of your property, has to be the way forward.